Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!

Hee hee. Our online security blocker, Integrity Online, has *giggle* BLOCKED RACHEL'S BLOG AS HAVING MATERIAL ON "CRIMINAL SKILLS!!!!!"
Man, any sentence with Rachel and "criminal skills" makes me laugh.

Unless, of course, she has a secret life that no one knows about......

My playlist Moved Up

I decided that after I killed the dancing thing, my blog still needed a soundtrack,. So I guess I'll move my playlist up. Again, if you want to find a song instead of the shuffle doing it for you, it would probably make your life easier if you click the "pop-out player" button.

ADFDASHFSGDH

You'll notice, if you do indeed care, that I removed the little Ford dancing things. It was fun, but noisy and distracting. You'll notice also, if you care, that I changed the featured jigamathingadingers. Check 'em out. I'm saving up for that guitar, and I'm almost halfway there. Ciao!

In Memoriam, Revised Ed.

I know that it didn't work when I tried to put a picture of my ratties on the blog, so here's a link to a collection of photos taken by the premier photographer, me. Enjoy.
By the way, You might have noticed I'm not doing any political posts. That's because I'm sick of politics. As Jimi Hendrix said, its just a "big ego scene."

Creedence Clearwater Revival- Looking Out My Back Door

One of the best songs from one of the best classic rock bands of all time. Plus, it's nice to see them having such a good time playing.

Radar Love-Golden Earring

This is a rad video. Cool song. But remember, it's the 70's. Don't say I didn't warn you. By the way, my playlist is easier to navigate if you click the "Launch Standalone Player" button under the post.

In Memoriam

I decided that, as a remembrance of the dynamic duo, I would use a picture of Pandora and Penelope, who, for those of you who don't know,* were my pet rats, as the featured livestock/rat for a period of time. Thanks a lot.





*I doubt anyone who reads this blog hasn't personally met me, so that might be unnecessary, but there you go.

Update No. 6

Eye chainjd ahl da feechrd tings. Woch da nu muzak videeoh. Ids wirth et jost fer da giter soaloh.

Whispers in the Dark

I love this song. And I think it matches the mood and atmosphere of my blog. I like the drummer, and yes, she is a girl.

Apologize

I like this song (Apologize by Timbaland and OneRepublic) and the music video is random but I like the photography.

Gore, Pt. 1

*sigh* Everyone takes me for granted. I didn't post for a more than a month, and no one pleads with me to post. Not even once. *double sigh*
Well, down to business. Considering what a big hit the Bob stories were, and also considering the Bob is, as it were, "on lockout," I have decided to renew interest in Ominous Presence, with a new series of short stories name Gore.
Yes, gore is what I write best.** So, here goes.
The cyclops lifted a monstrous, spiked club above his head, and brought it down on an innocent human. A squelch, and the creature lifted the weapon out of the ground. It was now covered in something resembling chunky tomato paste. The alien cyborg mutant zombie werewolf troll demon goblin vampire opened up with the roof-mounted, four barreled M-60 of his bright yellow Hummer. The cyclops' chest and face was peppered with pink entrance wounds, and his nine-foot girth tumbled to the ground on top of two propane tanks. The ACMZWTDGV, as if he just wanted to make sure, fired the machine gun for about another minute, and then got out and went to inspect the corpse. At that precise moment, the propane tank broke and ignited on the ACMZWTDGV's lit Marlboro. The dusty gravel driveway of Jehoshaphat's Gas was littered with red scraps and lank entrails. The concrete building was was coated with a film of crimson droplets.
All very gruesome. The jedi alighted gingerly on a oversized kidney, and activated his green lightsaber. His jedi-sense was tingling. Then, he suddenly was informed why when a ninja kicked him in the solar plexus. The jedi keeled over, and then jumped six feet in the air, landing on the ninja's head. With a unctuous snap, the spinal column telescoped. But, the jedi was surrounded by ninjas. Only, instead of the usual numchucks and bowstaffs, they carried powerful handguns. The jedi blocked the volley of bullets furiously, the projectiles vaporizing when they touched his blade. With lethal initiative, the jedi sliced every single one of them like sushi.

To be continued.
In case you were wondering, no, that doesn't have a plot.




**Not strictly true. My specialty is actually threatening, impenetrable fogs of sentences, whose meanings I gently shroud under staggering adjectives, and over use of commas, though these are not the only weapons I employ, and sometimes those sentences become cumbersome, and long, and hard to read, until the action of extracting meaning from them transforms into a daunting prospect, like building a rope out of sand.

Christmas Time Is Here!

Ah! Beautiful snow! It is, as you might have guessed, snowing at the time of posting, so I decided to do a REAL post to please certain pink parties that I shall not name. Winter is so nice, and the snow covered hillsides summon poems from within my lizard brain:
"Ode To Winter"
The soft footsteps of the ag'd years
Have all tread lightly in thy fine powder
In thy slush, scores of mittens have been soaked
In the walks thou hast blocked, many a muffled curse word has been
Utilized while shoveling
The loving, fairy touch of snowflakes on my frostbit brow
The unconcerned cries of "****" and "****" as people slip, stumble and fall on thy
Icy sidewalks
Bring untold peace to the Holiday Season



Just Kidding.

For the pleasure of the audience....

..... I have updated the featured things.

Weltanshuuang

Ok, fine Rachel, I'll post. ............. .. .. .. , YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*cough cough* *wheeze* *fall on floor, wait until my blood sugar goes down* *get up, dust myself off and continue with post* ANYway, I have nothing to post. *Sighs* *Thinks* *Lightbulb ignites over head*




The Custard Has Left the Creamery

Update No. 5

I forgot to mention that I received a very nice Takamine Jasmine S34C NEX for my birthday. That's a guitar, if you are wondering. I updated all my featured jigamathingies, and to appease the Madscientist gods, I used a guitar that WASN'T A GIBSON!! HOLY COW!! Refried beans rawk, amen.